Cynic's Guide to a Rich Full Life - by Mario DiGiorgio

Some suggest that this black cloud of wisdom is, in fact, the Anti-Christ in book form. But you know better. You know there comes a time when children need tripping, dolphins need flogging, and by gum, old people need a-murderin. Add it to your collection today for a brighter and more bitter tomorrow.

Think "Deep Thoughts" meets "Truly Tasteless Jokes". Small, hardcover with photos and 120 pages of hilariously inappropriate suggestions tohelp your dark side live a rich and full life:

- "Dance like nobody's watching. Then apologize to those who were."

- "Tape record your mother's laughter. Play it at your father's funeral."

- "Believe in love at first glance. But don't hold your breath, you hideous fuck."

- "Help a child plant a garden. They have no idea what pot looks like."

- "To battle the blues, try exercising. Still down? Try cutting yourself."

- "Ladies, kick things up in the bedroom tonight. Douche with Red Bull."

- "Find someone who can always be trusted. Then find a unicorn that farts rainbows."