Laurie Kilmartin CD "Five Minutes to Myself"

Laurie Kilmartin has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel, Comedy Central and Showtime. She was a staff writer for Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. On Five Minutes to Myself, she unloads on immigrant boyfriends and unwanted Mexican babies, then answers an age-old question, why is God such a Prick in the Old Testament?

Laurie Kilmartin's Homepage

Laurie Kilmartin Stand-Up Comedy Clip

Laurie Kilmartin Interview

"Five Minutes To Myself" Tracklist

1. Wake Up, People, I'm Recording a CD Here.
2. Yay Hookers!
3. Five Minutes to Myself
4. In Retrospect, I Should've Gotten a Dog
5. Anal About Birth
6. Ladies, Don't Let a Mexican Put it in You
7. Boys are Simple
8. White Lady Teaches Brown Baby to Speak Spanish in Harlem
9. Sabado es mi Quincenera
10. Two Stern Men, Stage Right
11. Saving on Airfare
12. The Appointment that was Terminated
13. 25 Years 'Til the First Day
14. Wild Stalker Love
15. Banging a Russian
16. German Invasion
17. The Second Amendment
18. God Had a Drinking Problem
19. Jesus = God Minus Whiskey
20. Hasidic Jews Are My Favorite
21. Islam: Perhaps Not for Ladies
22. A Church Approved Threesome
23. Men's Orgasms
24. A Gang of Lady Rapists